LOOKING BACK TO MOVE FORWARD: 2020 SELF-REFLECTION
The year 2020 has been a challenge. Between the pandemic, lockdowns, political turmoil and unrest, many of us have struggled to keep our lives on an even keel. For those of us who get energy or grounding from spending time with others, being isolated has been tough. Even people who enjoy solitude weren’t expecting this much alone time. If there’s been a silver lining: it’s that this year has allowed us to discover an inner strength and resilience we didn't know we had as our routines got shaken up and we were forced to adapt to unprecedented circumstances.
What have you learned about yourself this year? What have you reflected on? Have your priorities shifted? Do you feel supported?
As we look back on the year, we’ll discuss:
Self reflection
Building on your strengths
Revisiting your values and goals
Tracking your growth
The power of journaling for self reflection
Setting intentions for 2021
Self-reflection
Moving from one year to the next is traditionally the time when we take some time out for self-reflection. This year when there are forces outside of our control, it can prove helpful to reflect on what you can control to reassert agency over your life.
What went wrong or right for you this year? Try pulling out a sheet of paper and draw a “+” to divide it into four quadrants. On the left side write out the things that were out of your control, with the positives above and negatives below. And on the right, write out the things that were in your control, again with the positives above and negatives below. Contemplate what you wrote in the lower-left, out of your control and negative. Is there anything you can do to mitigate that negativity and assert some control by taking action? If not, don’t worry. Those are things to let go. Next, contemplate what’s in the top-right — the positives that you did have control over. What can you do to continue and protect those positives?
What do I want to do more/less of in the next year? Again, you can pull out a new sheet of paper and divide it straight down the middle. What’s draining your energy that you want to move away from? Write these on the left side of your sheet. What’s filling your cup and energizing you? Write those people, places, or things on the right side. Even better — highlight the most important ideas on either side so you know what to focus on letting go versus seeking out.
What do I want to change/work on over the next twelve months? Every year it seems like the same resolutions come into focus in January and go awry by summer. This time, don’t let resolutions burden you. Instead, use your notes from above and pick 2-3 things you want to focus on for the year ahead. You can attach a goal if that suits your personality and to give yourself an opportunity to observe progress, but it can also be something you don’t have to quantify. An example could be: Make sure I connect with friends and family regularly. Then try carving out a regular time to call or FaceTime someone at a set time. Perhaps you use Sunday mornings to call someone. Start with family, move on to friends, and see if this serves you after a month of consistency. Only you know what you need, but keeping yourself to 2-3 things makes for an achievable goal you can focus on without feeling over encumbered.
This kind of purposeful self-reflection can help us chart a path that allows us to whittle down any weaknesses or negativity and amplify our strengths and connection to ourself so that we can show up well when we connect with others.
Building On Your Strengths
You have a much better shot at maximizing your strengths and leveraging them to your own advantage than you do of eliminating your weaknesses:
Double down and focus on your core strength to enhance it and make it even stronger. This would mean devoting 80 percent of your productive time to your core strengths and relegating the remaining 20 percent doing other things. The more time you devote to working on it, the more opportunities you will discover as a result of going deep in that specific domain.
While we can always stand to work on our weaknesses, pouring all of our energy and attention into them robs us of the chance to shine in the areas where we're uniquely strong. As you plan for the coming year, take some time to list your strengths and think about how you can best maximize them in 2021.
Revisiting Your Values and Goals
In addition to improving your strengths in the coming year, you also have an opportunity to engage more fully with the values and goals that can help give you drive, purpose, and focus amidst uncertainty.
Some ideas to consider:
Family and friend relationships: Does talking on the phone or over video work well? What about something non-traditional like writing a letter? Or texting an old friend about a fun story or adventure you had just to let them know you’re thinking about them? Imagine how that kind of check in can make your day a little brighter. You’re likely to get back what you put out into the universe, so try to connect with someone in an atypical way — you might just surprise and delight them, and next time it may come back to you!
Health and wellness: We’re not here to judge if date night in isolation involves Ben & Jerry every now and then. But for those of us able to work from home, think about how you can use commute time you’ve regained. Sleeping in to be better rested? A 15-minute walk around the neighborhood to get the blood and creative juices flowing? If you want a bit more, what about a bike trainer if you’re on a budget or Peloton? Many yoga studios are offering both on-demand and live classes where all you’ll need is a mat. Perhaps it’s time to explore cooking new cuisines at home.
Community engagement: Small businesses are struggling this year with lockdowns, reduced capacity, and other restrictions. Can you shop locally instead of buying online? Or write an online review for your favorite local businesses? Order takeout if you can afford it? What about going Marie Kondo on your closet and donating items you’re not using to someone in need at a drive-through donation center?
Education and growth: There’s a phenomena of successful businesses launching in economic downturns, partly due to the disruption and shakeup of industries creating opportunities. So what opportunities are there for you personally? Whether it’s YouTube, Masterclass, Udemy, or a completely new career track through programs like Galvanize or Lambda School or other professional development offerings, is 2021 the year you decide to pivot to something new?
Spirituality: Connecting with your spirituality, faith, or given our beautiful surroundings in Colorado, biophilia, perhaps the New Year is one where you connect on a deeper level.
Chart specific actions you can take that will help you apply your values and goals in a positive and productive way.
Track Your Growth
There's an old saying: If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time.
In order to be sure you're staying on track with personal growth in 2021, put a system in place. Whether you favor apps on your phone, post-it notes on your bathroom mirror or workspace, a buddy system for accountability… establish built-in guardrails to help hold yourself accountable. This not only helps you stay focused, but will also help when you go to reflect at the end of next year so you can quantify the progress you made!
Journaling for Self-reflection
One of the best ways to organize your thoughts throughout this process is to write them down. Consider purchasing a journal in which you can orient yourself and keep a record.
Questions to Ask Yourself
To kick things off in your new journal, meditate on some classic year-in-review questions:
What were your favorite moments from the year?
Which incidents left you feeling the most pride?
What got in the way of your success?
Were these roadblocks within the scope of your control?
In what ways have you grown since the beginning of the year?
What are you thankful for this year?
What are you most looking forward to in the next?
Looking Forward: Intentions for 2021
As you look forward and make your plans for the new year, follow this mental map.
Define your purpose.
Without a stated purpose, you could stay busy but never truly accomplish anything. Defining your purpose helps you focus your energies and pay attention to what really matters.
Think about how you'll practice self-care.
Too few of us take time to care for ourselves in a way that would lead to flourishing.
Adequate sleep
Regular rest and recreation
Healthy nutrition and hydration
Positive mental health habits
Established skin-care routine
Regular fitness and stretching
Think about who you want to become.
Who you will be one year from now relies in part on the decisions you make today. While life will always throw us curve balls, regular rhythms of self-reflection and improvement can put us in a better position to respond to whatever life pitches our way.
And although the Jalan Journey isn’t quite the same during COVID-19, we hope to reintroduce our typical amenities and full experience soon. Meanwhile, we still offer a restorative, relaxing, and safe retreat for your self care. Book now at the link below and we look forward to seeing you in 2021!